Mindful Moments Blog
Mindful Moments Blog
Building Strong Foundations: Insight from an Early Childhood Professional
Rosemarie Lawton is the Director of Professional Development at The Child Care Council of Orange County and longtime GENM advocate. Her company works diligently with families and childcare providers, with their primary purpose being to coordinate, assist, strengthen, and expand child care in Orange County for all children.
Mindful Moments Blog
Effective Parenting: Embracing Discipline Over Punishment
Many individuals mistakenly equate punishment and discipline, assuming they are interchangeable terms. However, a closer examination reveals that they hold distinct meanings and approaches.
Mindful Moments Blog
We wanted to share a list of some of our favorite Generation Mindful articles that chat about why time-outs are out, and shine light on the importance of time-ins in shaping a child's social-emotional intelligence.
Mindful Moments Blog
4 Ways To Get Your Child To Calm Down
During a meltdown moment, these 4 tips are your survival guide.
What if I told you that the key to fewer meltdowns in your home was not to suppress them but to let them happen?
Any parent could probably tell ya that big emotions and challenging behaviors are daily (sometimes hourly, or, if you’re like our home, minute-by-minute) occurrences. So it makes good sense that we have some tools to know what to do when our children fall apart.
Why Children Struggle To Calm Down
Emotions are pretty new and alarming to our children who are still pretty new to this being alive thing. They struggle to control impulses, even when they know that certain behaviors are not desirable. They lack the foresight to see ahead to consequences and also the memory capacity to remember a “lesson” you taught five minutes ago.
As such, drowning in our frustration and overwhelm, we often work to make it all make sense. Because even more stressful than a flailing child is that feeling we get when we are at a loss as to why our children are behaving the way they are. We look to close the gap and fill in the missing puzzle pieces. We create narratives that our children are defiant, manipulative, and dramatic.
But what if our children were inherently good? If we came in with that mindsight then we’d begin to see that who our children are and what they do are two different things.
Our children are just being children. They are doing their job … making mistakes, learning about themselves and the world, and feeling their feelings. This isn’t a plot to “get us” like the Boogie Man but rather their road to development.
4 Ways To Get Your Child To Calm Down
Now that we know the role of our children, what’s ours? Well, we come in with our sage wisdom, being a guide by the side that they can trust, both in their moments of regulation but also during dysregulation… especially during dysregulation. So, next time your child is exploding like an emotional volcano, give these four tips a go.
SnuggleBuddies® Help Big Emotions & Meltdowns
1. Move to a smaller space.
It doesn’t feel good to feel out of control, especially in front of a crowd. Help your child transition from a large room to a smaller one, from a room with an audience to a quieter space. In removing extra stimulation and influences, your child’s nervous system can shift more quickly.
It may sound something like this: “I see this feels hard. I am going to help you to your room where we can sit together. You are safe and I love you.”
2. Validate and empathize with your child.
This is one of our biggest roles as parents. Validating our child’s experiences meets one of the most vital needs for connection, which ultimately leads to regulation. Our children want to know that their feelings, thoughts, and intuition matter, and to take it one step further, they want to know that their experience is real. They want to know that when they are struggling, they won’t be left alone with their overwhelm, which would feel pretty scary (and thus further a meltdown). Sometimes just feeling seen, heard, and understood is the balm our children desire.
This may sound like: “Something doesn’t feel good inside of your body. I believe you, and I am here.”
3. Respect your child’s boundaries.
Many times, we are so consumed with what we think we should do or the right script or on giving our children what we didn't receive when we were young that we move further out of our relationship with our kids. Despite our best intentions, we are attempting to control the situation or outcome and control is the contrast to connection. Either way, we can end up inadvertently railroading our child’s boundaries. If your child desires closeness, offer it. If your child is asking for space, honor it.
This may sound like: “You are telling me to go away. I hear you. I will sit outside your closed door. I trust your body to know when it is ready. I am here any way you need me.”
4. Wait it out.
Whether you’re right next to your child or on the other side of the door, give your child the emotional space to feel what they are feeling to the full extent that they are feeling it. This means we aren’t fixing it or rushing them along to the next pleasant emotion. This means that we manage our own discomfort so that we can hold space for theirs. In order to fully process the limbic (emotional) tension in their bodies, they must be allowed to express it. Sometimes that takes two minutes, sometimes ten. Keep holding space without the agenda of gettin’ on to the next thing.
As you begin to notice your child shift into a more regulated state, you may choose to touch on the pain point and finish the processing right then by taking a Time-In to discuss what happened, how they felt, and tools for next time, or maybe your child feels ready to move on.
Remember, when it comes to your child, you are the expert. Trust your own intuition to guide you in each meltdown moment. Ask yourself, What do I need right now? What does my child need right now? Use your context clues to give you the answers, because the answers live within you.
Mindful Moments Blog
Calming Corner Spaces Build Emotional Regulation Skills For Kids
Calming Spaces build emotional regulation antibodies, and here's how.
When our children are hungry, we offer food.
When they are tired, we offer sleep.
When they want attention, we offer connection.
As a parent, these needs often make sense to us and we have some ideas of how to meet them. But here is something else to think about.
A Child's Need For Emotional Regulation
When children experience big, unpleasant feelings and meltdowns, there is a need there too. They have a need to release tension and regulate their bodies. We can help meet that need by being emotionally responsive adults for our children.
Children who learn that vulnerability is a superpower - to feel big feelings and let them out of their body in the presence of their adult - retain a very important truth: all emotions are safe. Not just to feel but to express.
SnuggleBuddies® Help Big Emotions & Meltdowns
This is huge, because emotional overwhelm is alarming to children, mostly because emotions are new to them. So when parents and educators make emotions safe, children feel secure to explore and participate in relationships and the world around them.
They don’t have to carry the burden of being blocked or denied emotional experiences. They can live more fully. As researcher and author Brené Brown shares, “Our kids come into this world wired for struggle and imperfection. Our job is to let them know they are worthy of love and to be truly loved, they must feel validated and seen.”
Emotional Regulation As A Skill
Not only is emotional regulation a need, but it is also a skill. Our children have highly immature brains. While they are little Einsteins at detecting perceived threats and feeling feelings, they are a novice at knowing what to do with them. It takes ritual and consistency.
Each time a child’s emotions are met with connection, they grow a pathway in their brain for emotional regulation. They essentially cultivate a toolbelt for when they feel mad, sad, or frustrated.
Additionally, each time we invite our children to borrow our nervous system and model noticing, naming, and managing our emotions, our children mimic and embody that too. We are emotional beings neurobiologically wired to connect. And so when children are offered these experiences, they not only develop mentally and physically but emotionally as well.
Calming Corner Spaces Build Emotional Regulation Skills For Kids
Having a Calming Space in your home or classroom meets a child’s fundamental needs and teaches the skills of being a human who feels. The concepts around a Calming Space are connection and co-regulation.
We don’t order, command, and demand that our children go to their Calming Space to figure out their emotions in isolation. Rather, this is a place where parents, caregivers, or educators go with children to help them notice, name, and process feeling sensations.
The Time-In ToolKit posters make it easy and fun for children to identify their feelings. With your help, children begin to connect sensations to words, expanding their emotional vocabulary. For example, “When my jaw is clenched and my fists are tight, I am feeling angry.”
These associations help children then manage physically. “When I feel angry, I can __.” The ToolKit also offers a Calming Strategies poster to help children explore which calming activities feel most nourishing to them.
Practicing this in fun, playful ways during regulated moments, in a daily ritual such as pre-bedtime or during circle time in class, can help children access calming strategies during dysregulation. And as stated above, when we model using the Calming Space ourselves, children are more likely to mirror our patterns and adopt them as their own.
Calming Corner Spaces Create Life-Long Skills
Our feelings are forces. And feelings that don’t have permission to leave our body fly out as dysregulated behaviors. When we educate from fear and compliance, asking our children to suppress or deny themselves, they grow up to be adults who are developmentally in no better place to manage their emotions than they were as a child.
We want our children to connect and talk with us and we want to prepare them for life in different ways. Using a Calming Space is like a pre-regulation tool, preparing kids for different feelings. This builds emotional regulation antibodies, so to speak. It takes all of the aloneness and scariness and replaces it with safety and love. And when children feel safe, they can learn.
Mindful Moments Blog
How To Celebrate Being An Imperfect Mom
We make mistakes AND we are enough all at the very same time.
I closed the car door with my foot and tiptoed my son’s birthday cupcakes inside. I was determined to remain incognito on my path to the kitchen where I excitedly stored the treats meant for his birthday party the following day.
Moms talk about a “mom win,” and I was having that sort of moment, but it didn’t last long.
Fast forward 12 hours to the next morning, and me waking to a tiny hand slapping my face. I sat up equal parts annoyed and panicked. Had I overslept? This day was not already off to a not-so-great start.
I stumbled into the kitchen to find my eldest son hiding in the pantry, helping himself to a breakfast of champions - his not-so-well-hidden leftover Halloween candy. And while it wasn’t ideal, taking the candy away at that moment seemed more daunting than the sugar high he was headed for, so I opted to pass by with a blind eye. I needed coffee.
My mom was hosting the birthday party at her house with a handful of our family members invited, and though this absolutely alleviated some of the stress that comes along with throwing a kid's party, somehow, the morning still felt chaotic.
We eventually got out the door about 30 minutes later than planned, but we were moving in the right direction. I loaded the kids, slid into the driver's seat, and attempted to start the car. Nothing. I tried again and ... nothing.
Please no, I thought, not today.
I quickly replayed the night before in my mind, trying to figure out the source of the problem.
I got the cupcakes … I drove home … I snuck inside, hid the cupcakes, and went upstairs to tuck the kids in bed.
Nowhere in this replay did I remember the part where I actually turned off the car.
The verdict was in. My car was out of gas and we were going nowhere fast.
As I called my mom to come to rescue us, I put myself on trial.
Did you forget to turn the car off? Really?! Isn’t that a pretty basic function of getting out of the car? How could you be so stupid? It's your son's birthday and you are ruining it.
I felt the guilt taking over and the tears brimming. My heart was sinking when the sweet sound of giggles hit me from the backseat. My kids were singing a mashed-up version of "Happy Birthday" and it was just the thing I needed to pull myself back from the edge of self-loathing I was teetering on.
I took a deep breath and reassessed the situation. Things could be worse, right?! Everyone was still alive, my mom was on the way, and, yes, we still had cupcakes.
As my breathing slowed, so too did my thinking. Things became more clear. And that's when I began to wonder to myself, What am I going to model for my kids here? Am I going to show them how to beat yourself up when you make a mistake, or am I going to give myself some grace and teach them that we all make mistakes?
Shit happens, and we can either criticize and complain, or we can work to transform it.
I chose the latter.
I saw so clearly at that moment that how I responded or reacted to my own mistakes would inform my children on how to be with theirs.
If it were my best friend sharing this same story with me, I would snort-laugh and tell her to give herself a break. So, why was it so hard for me to give myself this same break?
But, we do that, don’t we? We punish ourselves for things we wouldn’t think of judging another person for doing.
Having a soul-searching conversation entirely by myself in the front seat of my car, I made a vow to work on loving myself - not only for my mama wins but also for my misses.
As I waited for my mom to show, I scribbled down a short list of ways to let go of the suffocating chokehold being “perfect" had on me, and here they are:
Let yourself feel. Use “I statements” to say what I’m feeling out loud to keep me aware and in the moment.
Laugh at yourself. I may look crazy but laughing, even if a forced laugh at first, shifts the brain by releasing feel-good hormones.
Think positive. When I mess up, I am quick to pull out all of the self-deprecating labels. Note to self: cancel the negative thought, and replace it with something positive about myself.
Do-it-over. Do you believe in time travel? I do. Asking for a re-do and owning up to my mistakes is like the cosmic reset button to life.
You may be wondering if we ever made it to the birthday party and I am happy to tell you that we did. The car that wouldn't start was barely noticed by my kids and long forgotten the second we pulled up to Grandma's house.
And those cupcakes? They were a huge mom win, scoring me hugs and sugary smooches from my birthday boy.
This is me. I am an imperfect mama who wishes she was more or "better" for her boys. I am an imperfect human being, and somehow, this is a reality I am just now learning to not only accept but to celebrate.
Being excite-able. Being forgetful. These things do not make me unloveable --- they make me, me.
And that is something I can learn to celebrate, and teach my boys how to do as well.
Learn More About Reparenting
By understanding and embracing your inner child with kindness, you become resilient, improve your emotional well-being, and form a deeper connection with yourself.
If you would like further guidance and support in your reparenting journey, please take a moment to explore the Reparent Yourself Online Summit.
Mindful Moments Blog
14 Common Parenting Phrases: When We Say That, Our Kids Hear This
Here are common parenting phrases, what kids hear, and what we can say instead to get on the same page.
You know that book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? Where is the parenting version of that? Because lately, I'm pretty sure my children and I are not only living on two different planets, but we are speaking two different alien languages.
Somehow, me asking my child not to jump on the couch or slap her brother or throw a block at my head translates into more jumping, slapping, and throwing.
Even my best attempts to get my child to listen turn into a battle, leaving both of us feeling out of control, frustrated, and ultimately further apart (forget different planets, more like different galaxies).
It turns out that miscommunications between parents and children are not uncommon, and when we look at the science behind our children’s developing nervous system, it all makes sense. This brain science explains not only why our kids can't hear us but what we can do about it.
For children to process and integrate what we are saying, we must speak in a language they can understand. Here’s what we know:
1. Children are wired to experience life and the world around them from their brainstem (reactive/defensive part of the brain) and limbic system (emotional part of the brain).
They do not yet have access to thinking, moving, and making decisions using their higher brain regions (aka the responsive/logical part of the brain responsible for most of the "executive functioning skills" we all wish our two and three-year-olds had already).
This means that anytime our children feel overwhelmed by their emotions, sensory overwhelm, or bump into an "unmet need", such as feeling hungry, tired, lonely, overpowered, or off-routine, they will resort to their more illogical and defensive "fight, flight, and freeze" mechanisms, wired to keep them safe and well-attached to us.
Just as with any other skill, the best way to build the higher brain regions is to practice them through games and time-ins
where children have the chance to learn from not only their many feelings, but their thoughts, actions, and even their mistakes.
2. A child’s brain is designed to process concrete information.
Using words that describe what we want our children to do (as opposed to what we don't) help children hear what we are saying and respond instead of reacting.
Plus, using concrete, tangible tools that kids can touch, hold, play with, and see helps children learn from their feelings and the many little teaching moments that happen in everyday life.
3. Children do much better when things are predictable and concrete.
This means when we have boundaries in place that are consistent and revealed ahead of time it incentivizes the behaviors we desire.
What Parents Say And What Kids Hear
Sometimes there is a disconnect between what we say to what our children hear. Let’s take a look at a few common examples:
When we say ...
1. Be quiet.
Kids hear/internalize: I am too much right now.
What to do instead: "Be quiet” is abstract and hard for children to process. Encourage your child to choose to be respectful with their voice rather than punishing them for doing what feels natural. Hand gesture a volume dial, model being quiet by playfully whispering, have them mirror your tone (loud then quiet), play the quiet game, and offer redirection.
2. Be careful.
Kids hear/internalize: The world is scary.
What to do instead: Say what you want your child to do. “Get down… walk on the sidewalk” or ask questions like, “What do we need to do before we cross the street?” Let your children grow in their awareness of themselves and the world.
3. Hurry up.
Kids hear/internalize: I need to give up my desires for yours.
What to do instead: Be clear, respectful, and firm. “We are leaving in ten minutes.” You may help your child by offering a visual schedule, announcing the transition, and/or using a timer.
4. Let me do that for you.
Kids hear/internalize: I am not capable and my parents can do it better.
What to do instead: Never do for a child what they think they can do for themselves. Give your child time to learn. Offer encouragement, “I believe in you. You can do hard things.” And if you must hurry, offer something like, “How about I put on this shoe and you put on that one.”
5. Be a good boy/girl.
Kids hear/internalize: I am good when I do good, and I am bad when I do bad.
What to do instead: Communicate to your child that who they are and what they do are two separate things. They are always a good kid, and sometimes they have a hard time. To communicate this, connect before you redirect: Meet the unmet need, validate the feeling, set boundaries, and teach new skills through co-regulation.
6. Be a big boy/girl.
Kids hear/internalize: Bigger is better, so I can’t wait to be older. This incentivizes our kids to be more than they are.
What to do instead: Celebrate your child for the age they are, and the abilities they have. “Wow, you’re four. What a great age to be.” or “I see you working hard on that. Way to stick with it!”
7. Don’t jump, hit, scream … or any other verb.
Kids hear/internalize: Jump, hit, scream.
What to do instead: State the behaviors you do desire. “Feet on the floor … You can hit the drum … Match my voice.”
8. Don’t whine.
Kids hear/internalize: I am not allowed to express myself. My wants and needs are bad or wrong.
What to do instead: Help your child find her powerful voice via play. “Where is Ella’s powerful voice? It was here just a minute ago?!” Or gesture her powerful voice by tapping your throat. Or say, “I want to help. I can’t understand what you are saying. Please use your powerful voice.”
9. Stop crying.
Kids hear/internalize: It is unsafe to show emotion.
What to do instead: Help your child name it to tame it and feel it to heal it. “I see you are so sad, and I am here for you.”
10. Stop being shy. Give him a hug.
Kids hear/internalize: What I feel inside isn’t what is good or right or acceptable.
What to do instead: Invite your child to tune in to their intuition and trust what they find. Offer support. “I see you don’t want to give hugs right now. That’s okay. Listen to your body.”
11. We don’t do that in this house.
Kids hear/internalize: I did that (behavior), so I must not belong.
What to do instead: State an observation and then set clear, firm, and consistent boundaries. “I see a boy who threw his dinner bowl. All done.”
12. You’re fine. You’re being too emotional.
Kids hear/internalize: My feelings are wrong, not allowed, not safe.
What to do instead: Pause to notice and manage your triggers and stay curious about your child’s experience. Validate emotions, hold space, and make it safe to feel.
13. Oh come on, it's not that bad.
Kids hear/internalize: What I THINK I am feeling is false. I cannot trust myself, my body, or my feelings. There must be something wrong with me.
What to do instead: Remind yourself that feelings are not RIGHT or WRONG... they are data. Validate your child's emotions even if you do not like them. Get curious about your child's thoughts and possible unmet needs.
14. You make me so mad.
Kids hear/internalize: I am responsible for others’ feelings.
What to do instead: State how you feel using an I statement. “I feel frustrated when I see the cat get hit because he could get hurt."
If you currently use any of these, meet yourself with compassion. We are wired to say most of these phrases because it’s what was modeled for us by generations past. Being a cycle breaker takes awareness, which is exactly what this article invites. Compassionate awareness.
When our children feel safe, powerful, and connected, they have an easier time listening and cooperating with us. This is the power of taking a "connection with" rather than a "power over" approach to raising kids.
Our words can either nurture, support and guide our kids ---- or they can become their inner critic. I choose connection.
Mindful Moments Blog
A Simple Way to Raise Compassionate Kids
If we want our children to exercise the compassionate parts of themselves, it is important that we expose them to these 3 components of their experience.
By Viki de Lieme
We passed three kindergarten facilities on our way to school, and this morning there were noisy construction sounds coming from one of them. Ilay, my six-year-old, who was never a fan of loud noises, said he hated the drilling.
"I don't like the noise, either," I said to him. "Can you see why they are drilling?"
He stopped, looked inside, and said, "Looks like they are fixing something and replacing some stuff."
I then asked him what this meant for the kids in that kindergarten, and he replied that the kids would have a nicer kindergarten. And I then asked, "Do you still hate the noise?"
He said, "No."
The Automatic Reaction
Looking at the world, we see what our eyes show us, and what we take from it is what our brain already knows. Ilay heard the noise and his brain said, "I don't like noise!" and that's what he took from the situation, but that's pretty narrow and limited, isn't it?
One of our most prominent roles as parents is to teach our children to think, examine, analyze, and eventually, live beyond the automatic reaction. To do that, we need to expose them to the components of their experience.
The Three Layers of Experience
No matter which experience we choose to look at, we can always break it into three layers: external, internal, and systemic. Teaching our children to do the same is KEY to compassion, analytical thinking, care, and a plethora of other traits.
Let's take this morning, for example. External is what actually happened (drilling at the facility). Internal is how Ilay's brain reacted to the happening (I don't like noise!). Finally, systemic is the bigger picture, which allows us to influence and adapt the internal.
Parents Living Beyond the Automatic Reaction
To instill skills and values in our children, we must first embody them. From my experience as a parent and parent educator, I know firsthand how hard it is to part from the automatic reaction. But while indeed hard, this is the first step to a life of compassion and calm.
When we break things down into their components and bravely see the bigger picture, our feelings change. When our feelings change, so do reactions.
Say your child melts down at the store (external). Your internal screams, "Why does this have to happen every single time?" Feelings of anger, impatience, frustration, and confusion arise, and your reaction follows. But if you added the systemic and said to yourself, "He's crying for his lost autonomy," for example, you'd feel compassion and empathy towards your little one, and your reaction would follow.
Children Living Beyond the Automatic Reaction
Teaching children the three layers of experience allows us to bring peace into every situation because anger, frustration, and other unpleasant feelings disappear miraculously when our eyes are open to the systemic layer.
Say your younger child snatches the older one's toy, and the older one automatically gets upset. If we stick to the automated, a fight will follow. But what if we help the older one break it down?
Mom: What happened? (external)
Child: He took my toy!
Mom: And what does it mean to you? (internal)
Child: He always does it!
Mom: Why do you think he did it? (systemic)
Child: Because he wants to play.
The feelings generated by "he always does it" are those of resentment and anger, while those generated by "he wants to play" are those of connection and understanding.
Goodbye Automatic Reactions
One of the activities we often practice during dinner is taking guesses. We analyze each other's behavior and guess WHY they did what they did. Not only does this teach kids how to analyze behaviors and open their hearts to those around them, but it also opens an incredible door into your child's soul.
Sometimes, taking the wrong guess serves you because your little one will immediately give you the answer that's right for them.
The Giraffe and the Tiger
A few weeks ago, when Jon returned from a work trip abroad, he brought back two plushies - a giraffe and a tiger, both super sweet. Ilay immediately chose the tiger and handed the giraffe to Lia. They were both happy at first. A few days later, Ilay started developing a desire for the giraffe. He tried to convince Lia to switch, and she wouldn't. He got upset, closed the door behind him, and cried for a long time.
After a while, Lia went to him and gave him the giraffe. "Present," she said. Then again, for a short little bit, they were both happy. But sure enough, at bedtime, Lia wanted the giraffe. At two years old, the word "present" is not as eternal as it is at six. Ilay got upset, again, this time with Lia.
"What happened"? I asked, aiming for the external.
"Lia took the giraffe back!"
"You're feeling sad because the giraffe is not yours?" I continued, trying to guess the internal.
"No, because she lied to me!"
Equipped with this knowledge, I could then use the systemic to influence the internal.
"You know you'd never take back something you gifted, and you're upset that Lia did. I get it. Why do you think she did it in the first place"?
"Because I was crying, and she wanted to make me happy," he said, looking at Lia again but this time with a soft gaze.
"Yea, I think so, too. And do you think that she understands the word "present" as you do?"
"No," he said and cuddled his tiger.
It's about the Need, Not the Want
Ilay didn't eventually get what he wanted, but he fell asleep with a better understanding of himself and a deeper understanding of Lia. He could appreciate what she did for him in a moment of distress, and he understood why she took it back. And understanding is what one needs to open the door to empathy.
Mindful Moments Blog
I Sent Myself To The Calming Corner And My Child Learned To Regulate Emotions
Time-Ins are an opportunity for us adults to re-connect with our inner child and learn the skills of emotional regulation so that we can then model and teach these skills to our children. Here are 5 steps for taking a Time-In as an adult.
Mindful Moments Blog
10 Ways To Get Your Kids Talking About Their Feelings
It can be hard to connect when our children are reluctant to share. Here are some tips to help your children want to talk.
Mindful Moments Blog
Virtual Calming Corner Teaches Kids About Emotions Playfully
How do we teach social-emotional learning (SEL) to our children?
Mindful Moments Blog
Time-Outs Affect The Developing Brain
Separation-based techniques, like the popular time-out approach, use what children care most about against them.
Mindful Moments Blog
A Strong Relationship With Your Child Gives You More Authority, Not Less
As children learn to regulate emotions and learn higher-level skills through the safe space of a supportive caregiver, not only does it strengthen your relationship but it gives you more authority. Your children will want to work with you more than they want to work against you. Here's how.
Mindful Moments Blog
How To Reduce Your Child's Exposure To Shame
Shame eats away at a child’s core emotional need to feel loved and connected, leaving them feeling small, unworthy, flawed, and unacceptable. As we learn to heal our shame wounds, we give our children chances for a healthy and happy emotional life. Here are 3 shame-free discipline tactics.
Mindful Moments Blog
Meltdowns Develop Your Child's Brain When Met With Connection; Punishment Doesn't Work
Toddlers are one of the most authentic creatures on the planet, and also, arguably, the most misunderstood. On the surface, we see meltdowns, defiance, and limit testing. But there’s so much more than what meets the eye.
Mindful Moments Blog
Toddlerhood is a precious time. We do our kids and ourselves a great injustice by assigning negative intent to their developmentally normal behaviors. Instead of going to war, let’s spend these quickly-passing years seeking to understand our little ones and rewrite the narrative on common myths.
Mindful Moments Blog
Social-Emotional Learning Starts At Home
Students who are self-aware and able to understand their emotions have a greater ability to relate to others, make decisions, and excel academically. Here is how to help your child develop social-emotional skills at home.
Mindful Moments Blog
Discipline Your Child's Behavior, Not Their Emotions
There is a difference between how our children feel and how they behave. Rather than trying to force our children to not feel certain emotions (especially the ones that are inconvenient for us), we can teach them how to deal with emotions. Here are four ways to do this.
Mindful Moments Blog
Is It Okay For Me To Cry In Front Of My Child?
How do we straddle the line of expressing emotion in front of our children while letting them know that they are not responsible for our feelings? The process can be vulnerable and uncomfortable, but this is often how it feels when we commit to breaking cycles of generational wounding.
Mindful Moments Blog
I’ve Never Grounded My Teenager - Here’s Why
In our culture, we are accustomed to training children through pain. We are fooled into thinking it’s good because it works, but it only works for a short time, and the reason it works is heartbreaking. Here's what to do instead of punishment.
